The Next Contestant
by softballshorty05
Summary: ONESHOT: Nickelback, bar fights and bra straps


I hate that place; I am not in the mood for this tonight. It used to be my favorite hang out, but now that Spence has started working here, it's become nothing short of a hell hole full of frustration for me. And it is not, by any means, because of her, not directly at least. I loved it at first, my favorite girl working as a waitress at my favorite bar, what bad can come out of that? Apparently a whole hell of a lot.

Spence started working at Grey's about a month or so ago. At first it was great. She'd get me free drinks and when she got off her shift, we'd dance the rest of the night. And her "uniform" was an added bonus. The uniform basically consisted of a skirt, no longer than mid thigh, and any midriff bearing, sleeveless shirt. It was hott, which was one of the reasons why it was my favorite bar.

Tonight Spence chose her tight fitting black denim mini skirt. My favorite skirt. This particular skirt was purchased with slight rips in the denim, not enough to make a hole, but enough to see skin. After the first time wearing that skirt, it had about 4 holes in it (courtesy of yours' truly). To top it off, she had an even tighter fitting black laced cami. Needless to say, she is looking unnaturally hott tonight. And I mean bangin', smoking' hott.

It's going to be a long night.

**I judge by what she's wearing  
Just how many heads I'm tearing  
Off of assholes coming on to her **

When Spence took the job, I never considered the fact that she was irresistibly gorgeous as a problem, hell I didn't think I ever would. But now I do. And it is a BIG problem.

You see, being hot and wearing a uniform like that, you are basically a walking poster child for sex. You might as well grab a blinking neon sign that reads "fuck me now!" and strap it around your neck.

And even if you don't, you're still seen as an open invitation for the grubby nasty hands of the bar nesting pervs of the world.

And, lucky for us, Spencer seems to be the number one target at this bar.

**Each night seems like it's getting worse  
And I wish she'd take the night off  
So I don't have to fight off  
Every asshole coming on to her  
It happens every night she works **

I am so fucking sick and tired of all these perved out ass holes grabbing her ass and groping her every time she walks by. If they weren't leaving such a huge tip, another pitiful attempt to get in her pants, she would've sued every single guy, and girl, in this bar.

I try to get her to quit but she won't. She keeps insisting that it's not a big deal and I shouldn't be getting so jealous. I fight back and say that I'm not jealous I just don't want her getting hurt. Which is partially true, who knows what these guys are capable of when they're drunk off their asses. But it's mostly jealousy. It drives me crazy when anyone but me touches her. Call me selfish, but she's mine, so back the hell off scum bag.

**They'll go and ask the DJ  
Find out just what would she say  
If they all tried coming on to her  
Don't they know it's never going to work  
They think they'll get inside her  
With every drink they buy her  
As they all try coming on to her  
This time somebody's getting hurt **

Since she's so damn stubborn and won't quit, or at least take a night off, I take my post at the bar. I pick the stool in the middle of the counter and turn it around fully, this is the best view I can get of her. From this spot I can follow her around the room. I am on full alert all night long, the slightest sign of lust from them and I'm off. The comments aren't as bad as the groping. I've learned to contain myself for the comments, they're always the same. "Hey there, sweetheart. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" "Damn girl, I haven't seen buns like those since I stopped by the bakery last week!" Yes, they do get worse as the alcohol intake increases. Some of them are almost funny to watch, the long shot truckers with their 5th grade pick-up lines are my favorite. You know? Bubba? The beer bellied balding ex-trucker (yes he's that pathetic) with the every popular "do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?" He's my favorite.

But then we have Mr. Suave. The scuzz ball with the big buff body, practically leaking baby oil (just like his greased up hair). With the lines like "Do you have a mirror in your pants? 'Cuz I can see myself in them." Or "Are you from Tennessee? 'Cuz you're the only ten I see." And my favorite (NOT) "Nice shirt, wana' fuck?" Lines like these, coming from guys like these make me thankful that I'm on the other side of the bar.

But Mr. Suave has had a few more shots than usual tonight and is feeling very confident in his pick-up abilities, in short: he's wasted and horny. He's now combined his perved out lines with a lust filled leer and a light smack on the ass as she walks away.

Spence doesn't want to loose business so she just lightly smacks his hand off. But captain oblivious doesn't get the hint. He takes this as a nice friendly game of hard to get, but he's in no mood for games.

Here comes the next contestant

Before Spencer can react he has his arm wrapped around her waist and has pulled her onto his lap. He places his rough, burly hands on each of her thighs and starts moving them upward. She tells him to stop and tries to get up but he pushes her back down and tries to force his tongue down her throat.

**Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand? **

Before he can make another move I have a fistful of his greasy hair in my hand and I'm pulling him out of the booth by it.

"What the fuck?!?" he shouts, stumbling out of the booth.

"Get your disgusting hands off of her you jack ass!"

"What are you, her girlfriend?"

_Great, I can't even answer that because Spence told me not to. She doesn't want to give them any more reasons to leer at her or anymore fantasies to fill their perverted heads with._

So, instead, I answer with the first thing that comes to mind. "No, I'm your worst nightmare." And with that and a swift kick to the crotch he's doubled over. Looks like all those years in the gym with Aiden are about to pay off.

**I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping**

He quickly regains his composure, though, and takes a swing at my face while slurring something along the lines of "what the fuck. I'll get you for that, you psycho bitch!"

Being sober, I easily dodge his messy swing and knock him back with a quick left hook to his jaw. His head snaps back violently and his lip starts to bleed. I get in another jab to his stomach before he rallies back and returns a hard blow to my stomach. I'm pretty sure I just heard something snap. I don't stop though, I can't give up. I need to keep going, he will be my example for all those other bastards out there; mess around with my girl and you'll have to mess with me.

He thinks I'm out and he's trying to balance himself. I take this chance to deliver a hard blow below his jaw. That hit could have been lethal, and I know it, which it why I purposefully missed my mark. To kill you aim for the jugular, crushing the windpipe. I don't want to kill him though, this is just a bar brawl, I don't plan on being put away for the rest of my life for it, no thanks, I'm good. So instead of the lethal hit, I knock him right in the chin. This snaps his head back yet again and he passes out.

I try to gain my composure by leaning onto the table next to me. It is then when I realize that every person in the bar is staring at me, mouth gaping. Yes, I am a girl, and yes I did just beat this beef ball senseless. I also notice that said beef ball is still passed out on the floor, receiving no help from his "buddies." I find it amusing that none of them jumped into to stop me; they must hate him just as much.

**There goes the next contestant  
**

Then I look at Spencer. She's standing in the same spot she was in when the brawl started. She's been glued there the entire time. Her face is pale and she looks shocked, understatement. She's starring at the guy on the floor as if he is about to sprout 6 heads out of his stomach. I have never seen her like this, it's kind of scaring me.

"Spence?" I call her name, hoping to snap her out of her trance.

Without taking her eyes off the guy, she responds "…I quit."

A small smile forms on my face, but I don't want to show my eagerness; it looks like she's had enough for one night "You sure?"

"Yup"

"Took you long enough" I laugh. "Alright, let's get out of here, babe."

At the use of the pet name, I see the bright green eyes of a blonde sitting at the table shoot up. _Oh hell no, don't even bitch._ But, of course, she does. The bitch gets up and walks up to Spencer.

"Hey, my name's Stephanie." She puts her hand out.

"Umm, hi. Spencer." Replies Spence, still a little shell shocked.

**I even fear the ladies  
they're cool but twice as crazy  
just as bad for coming on to her  
don't they know it's never going to work?**

"Sorry, I should probably explain. That was my brother, he's a huge ass. I'm really sorry about that, really."

"Oh, um yea, no big. I'll be fine." Spence says, regaining her cool.

"Good, wouldn't want to worry that pretty little head of yours."

"Huh?"

**Each time she bats an eyelash  
somebody's grabbing her ass  
everyone is coming on to her  
this time somebody's getting hurt  
**

"If you're still a little worked up about it, I've been told I'm a great vent. I know the perfect way get you to _release_ your troubles, if you know what I mean."

"…HUH?!?"

_Jesus Christ, not again. These fucking people are relentless._

**Here comes the next contestant  
**

"My God, you people don't give up. Let's go Spence." I say, grabbing her hand and trying to walk to towards the door. But Sophie, or Stewie, or what ever the hell her name is, puts her arm out in front of me, blocking my exit.

"Um, I think Spencer here can think for herself. I don't think she needs you to tell her what to do" she begins, then she gets close to my face" …or _who_ to do."

_BIG mistake bitch._

I take this opportunity to give her the hardest, loudest bitch slap you've ever seen. It was great…until she retaliated. She came back lunging at me, catching me off guard, and tackling me to the ground. This installed a full fledge fight, yet again. But, as I said earlier, I'm trained for this.

_I started taking self defense classes about the same time I came out, towards the end of 9th grade. I figured it was probably the best time of any to learn how to save my ass from the people who hate me, and apparently that was a lot of people. Needless to say, I got my experience in and I had my black belt in Judo by junior year._

As soon as the fight has started, I can tell it's going to be a tough one. I'm guessing Blondie here hasn't even looked at alcohol all night, because she is fully alert and it's not helping me at all.

Before I know it, my arm is locked behind my back and I'm face down on the ground with her right knee on my spine. Basically, I'm screwed. _Damnit, so much for that visit to the chiropractor this morning. _But just as I'm about to retaliate, the weight has disappeared off of my back and my arm is free. I roll over to see little miss mega-bitch locked up in a full nelson by none other than my "innocent" little Spencer. _Damn…that's hot._ I snap out of my daze to catch the tail end of Spencer's ranting.

"And don't you ever touch her again, got it skank?!?"

Woah.

_  
_**Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
**

**There goes the next contestant**

Then Spence does something that I wouldn't expect to see in a million years. She drops the girl _(Stephanie?)_ on her face, walks over to me with an extra sexy swing in her steps, and grabs the back of my neck. Then she looks deep into my eyes and whispers, "let's give 'em something to talk about." Then she pulls me into a rough, passionate, searing kiss. The most passionate kiss I have ever received in my life. It almost literally burnt. It wasn't just rough, it was hot. Seriously, this kiss alone had the power to send me over the edge.

**I'm hating what she's wearing  
Everybody here keeps staring  
Can't wait 'til they get what they deserve  
This somebody's getting hurt **

Here comes the next contestant

Then she pulls away, looks at me and smiles. It is now that I witness something almost like a phenomenon; I wonder briefly if we somehow switched personalities without my realization. Spencer has now turned around and climbed up onto the nearest table. She looks at me and winks, then starts to slowly roll up her shirt until it reaches just below her bra. Then she pulls her skirt down until it hits the top of her thong, with a little black lace peeking out fro the top. And then, as one grand final action, she raises both hands high in the air and flips off the entire bar.

**Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
**

**Is that your hand?  
**

**I wish you'd do it again  
**

**I'll watch you leave here limping  
**

**I wish you'd do it again  
**

**I'll watch you leave here limping  
**

**There goes the next contestant**

Alright, so maybe this bar job has its perks. Too bad she's resolved at never working at any establishment remotely related to a bar ever again in this life time.

**I wish you'd do it again  
Each night seems like its getting worse  
I wish you'd do it again  
This somebody's getting hurt  
**

But she still kept the uniform…

**There goes the next contestant**


End file.
